al anon quotes about acceptance

Learn to give from my overflow rather that from my reserve. But For The Grace of God Easy Does It 3. Martin Luther Since 1951, Al-Anon Family Groups has been helping families and loved ones of people who are struggling with alcoholism. When I feel I've bottomed out Delve into our collection of the The Role of Acceptance in Recovery From Alcohol Addiction. When I was new in the program, the meeting I attended included a brief word about sponsorship within the opening to the meeting. Detachment "Gradually I accepted the fact that my 'if only' wishes were not about to come true. Intelligent. That helped me change my attitude about the problem. I thought acceptance meant giving in, admitting I was helpless, admitting I was powerless. Just For Today, And its rather better that way. For me, acceptance came when I finally realized that I was dealing with a disease. Take what you liked and leave the rest. It is a sign of spiritual health to be able to ask God every day to enlighten me, to recognize His will, and to have the strength to execute it. But it is clear that we make our own misery., I've been benefited from a dictionary definition I found that reads: "Rationalization is giving a socially acceptable reason for socially unacceptable behavior, and socially unacceptable behavior is a form of insanity., It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us., Every day I stand at turning points. These catchy Al Anon recovery slogans will help inspire you to come up with your own slogan ideas. We have compiled the 31 most helpful slogans. Welcome back. The other thing that helps me find acceptance is talking things over with my Sponsor. Necessary, Learn to ask, What is the best thing for me? Heres cheers for a Step 9 done. Thoughtful, When I first stopped trying to fix other people, I turned my attention to 'curing' myself. In humility we possess self-esteem, accept ourselves as we are, assets and defects alike, and extend the same acceptance to others. I give it to God andRead more , This is a lovely question. Acceptance that I am not alone in my feelings and experiences with the alcoholic. The opinions expressed here are strictly those of the person who gave them. On the flip side, emotional non-acceptance of alcoholism, as supported by denial, guilt, fighting against, or escaping the illness, puts a person at a high risk of relapse, even if a person can rationally accept the disease. Welcome back. <. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. McKay JR, Hiller-Sturmhofel S. Treating alcoholism as a chronic disease: approaches to long-term continuing care. Easing If you keep doing what you've always done, you will keep getting what you've always gotten. When I came into the program, I was willing to admit (finally) that I was powerless over my sons drinking. Both the Al-Anon literature and the Alcoholics Anonymous literature place a big importance on being able to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Serenity See more ideas about al anon, words, inspirational quotes. Just for Today 14. I looked forward to the day I would graduate from Al-Anon and get on with my life. I will add yours. Once you understand the importance of accepting your alcoholism, it's important to reach out for help, if you have not already. My Sponsor supported me and loved me through my work of the 12 Steps of Al-Anon. I would pick one paragraph and work on just that part, like no criticism or judgement and doing something for someone and not get found out, so far I have not mastered that one.Read more . Resentment is anger re sent, it goes round and round resending the feelings. Other signs of emotional non-acceptance may include feelings of anger or shame regarding the development of alcoholism. Share your experience visiting other groups within the Al-Anon worldwide fellowship. Slogans help me to be compassionate towards myself and others, thus it helps me to find acceptance too. Permalink . The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them ODAT pg 185 By Buddy T It took me a long time to realize that there are lots of things besides alcoholism that Im powerless over. Copyright 2023 Andywarholquotes. LOVE: Besides medications that can help you stop or reduce your drinking, there are behavioral treatments like cognitive-behavioral therapy or motivational enhancement therapy. Steps 1-3 bring relief He or she can provide you with a treatment referral and determine whether medication is an option for you. If you think of what you want for another as something you cant be okay without its an addiction. Happiness & knowledge increase only as we share it with others. This is what I need. Voluntarily It still brings tears to my eyes. One Day at a Time 8. We can only deepen our commitment every time we surrender anew., Vindictiveness, vengeance, resentment, blame, and hard-heartedness do us far more harm than anyone else., As important as it is to set time aside for spiritual exercise, it is even more important to recognize that our spiritual selves require ongoing attention. Lois Wilson, also known as Lois W., founded Al-Anon 16 years after her husband founded Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). About. It helps me to realize where I am powerless, and reminds me to find the courage to focus on myself and my own character defects and/or defences. Strong predictors for alcohol recidivism after liver transplantation: non-acceptance of the alcohol problem and abstinence of< 3 months. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. The thinking/behaviour no longer serves your best interests. I even thought about it that morning, not knowing what would happen later in the day. The energy that would have been dumped into worry, tears, and obsession can be turned into positive action. In some of the hardest times of my life, there was no active alcoholism going on in my home. The Serenity Prayer is the best tool for me. It Alanon Quotes Al Anon 12 Steps Recovery Al-Anon teaches us how to stay sane when things are insane. Rather we would have to forgive ourselves for judging. A coincidence is a little miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous. Let It Begin with Me 13. PMID: 23580020; PMCID: PMC3625994. ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~, ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! We are asked to forgive those who have injured us. Change can only come from a position of acceptance. Alcohol Res Health. By Rick, California, We have a right to expect more from life than mere survival., I had invited God to come into my life but I had no idea how I thought things should be or how often I would close the door to God and let my will run wild. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us, that's ok too, just try something different. Support from peers is also an important component of acceptance. Al-Anon Family Groups, Courage to Change-One Day at a Time in AlAnon II: Part 1. The serenity prayer helps me find acceptance. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. Step 3. My journey to acceptance started when I attended my first meeting that gave me hope. According to one study, attending a support group for alcohol addiction had a strong influence on whether or not a person could achieve emotional acceptance of their alcohol addiction. I remember it so vividly, it looked like she was having a heart attack, because it was forty five years to that day I had watched my dad die of a heart attack. Depression is Anger Toward Inward. I began to despair as the character defects I had worked so long to overcome came back to haunt me, particularly during times of stress and during periods when I didn't attend meetings. Pain is something that comes and goes, suffering is something we hold on to. This is what I feel. I was thinking earlier today about the housing situation my husband and I are in. Bssing A, Matthiessen PF, Mundle G. Emotional and rational disease acceptance in patients with depression and alcohol addiction. Acceptance for me has always been a problem. This is self care, we learn to let go of burdens we were never meant to carry. I want a sober family member who is thriving, who is dependable, who is happy with life, who is. But I also learned that I could be happy even if they didn't.". 5 0 obj I think Im more ready to move than he is. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Step 2. Things to say to the alcoholic when he/she does his/her thing: I never thought of it that way. Lastly, mutual-support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or other 12-step programs provide peer support, which can be very beneficial for preventing relapse and maintaining abstinence. (91), It is entirely up to us to determine what is acceptable to us and what is not. Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help. EGO: Nancy, may I add to this wonderful list? You will find a whole new experience with it! Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Odomtologys note: Acceptance is one of those themes that comes up time and time again in the recovery process. The steps say WE, Al-Anon is program that is meant to be worked with another and with God. I can only love myself as much as I believe I am lovable. I am blaming someone else for something I need to do. Otherwise, we risk seriously diminishing our credibility and diminishing our own self-esteem., Wed love your help. The 12 Steps are about freedom and empowerment. Keep it simple is my favorite Al-Anon Slogans in a Poem - By Coach Papa Slogans in a Poem by Coach Papa First Things First - I have heard it said - Be Honest With yourself, - get out of your head - You can Feel Good -About Saying "No" - Keep Coming Back to - Talk And Grow - Easy Does It - sounds real nice - If you Keep It Simple - you don't roll the dice - Live And Let Live - Brings it back to you - They're in recovery, - you are, too - What's to Be will Be - So, Let Go & Let God - Just wait and see - That one Day At A Time - Is more than a phrase - In Al-Anon, - it's the phrase that pays - Think! We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinksdrinks which they see others taking with impunity. For a few months my wife and I kept it in a separate account so as not to touch it in case there was a mistake in my determination and my understanding in the way I had answered the required questions. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. I need to be true to who I am to be able to have a sense of self. Your email address will not be published. Or just leave a comment right here. 2019-2020 GoLiveAgain.com is proudly powered by Go Live Again All Rights Reserved. It's from the 4th edition of Alcoholics Anonymous or The Big Book as it is widely known. Member sharing on the Member Blog may be used in future AlAnon publications. When we point a finger at someone, three are pointing back at us. Since strong family support increases a person's chance of remaining abstinent, marital and family counseling is also often integrated into treatment. Nothing exists in a vacuum therefore if you remove something you need to put something else in it's place. AlAnon does not offer counseling or advice. I was able to accept myself as a less than perfect human, but still lovable, when I did a Step 9 with my wife. In support, Very helpful to help conquer anything that you are dealing with in life. 31 Most Helpful Al-Anon Slogans 1. Check out our 12-Step Store with T-shirts, coffee mugs, books and more! Listen And Learn - or watch bridges burn - Keep An Open Mind, - Now it's your turn - Is your serenity worth it - Just, Fake It 'Till You Make It! Learn how your comment data is processed. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. Acceptance doesnt mean hopeless. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. CLEARLY DEFIENED CONSEQUENCES THAT DONT DISRUPT YOUR SERENITY. When I focus on myself, I can be more accepting of others. Northern California World Service Area of AFG, Inc. www.ncwsa.org. In other words, relinquish your control, realize your limitations, and face reality (that you have an alcohol problem) is the most important step towards recovery. Buddy Tis an anonymous writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. Kay 10 months ago TROY H. 10 months ago In my early days in the program I thought acceptance was a kind of giving up; an admission of weakness or helplessness. On Expectations: Youre in this place like this place in the world, and youre surrounded by people who will do anything to help you. Take what you liked and leave the rest. Awesome kitty. That process leads me to new insights, like the time I realized I couldnt accept a past hurt had happened because I wasnt willing to forgive. Next thing I know I am driving along and she starts struggling. <> Dealing With Rejection Do you have difficulty handling rejection in any form? That would probably take a whole lifetime. Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time but it no longer needs to be that way. Scandinavian journal of gastroenterology. That's a big change for someone who used to come to in the morning feeling sentenced to another day of life. Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617 (757) 563-1600. www.al-anon.org. I must focus on myself and my recovery; finding the courage to change the things I can. Hartl J, Scherer MN, Loss M, Schnitzbauer A, Farkas S, Baier L, Szecsey A, Schoelmerich J, Schlitt HJ, Kirchner GI. made me feel better today :), Some of these May be repeats but I found some more Am I comparing my insides with other peoples outsides when I feel out of it in a group? I have His help and guidance to weather the storms and enjoy the beauty I had not seen before., We are powerless over anothers alcoholism. Tradition One and Principles above Personalities helps me accept people. I am saying that I know better than God. I never dreamed I would have to use that kind of acceptance with my sister. Though old buildings will eventually be replaced by finer ones, the new structures will take years to complete., First of all, we had to quit playing God. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Hazelden Publishing. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery. He wouldnt let those things happen until I was with people who could help me to get through that. TTT: Kindness I like to treat myself with a Grandmothers heart. While these loved ones may not meet our expectations, it is our expectations, not our loved ones, that have let us down., Sometimes the only way I can determine whether Im trying to control someone else or whether Im simply expressing my feelings is by noticing how many times I say the same thing. All of a sudden, God put an angel there in the form of a motorcycle, because I was in front of the biggest mall in the state, the traffic was unbelievable. I dont live with anRead more . Its time to go back to Step One and admit Im powerless. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. Hungry On Keeping it Simple: We didnt cause the disease. Al-Anon Dial-In Meetings. I soon realized, this was an Al-Anon tool I needed to explore. 2008 Dec 1;6(1):4. doi:10.1186/1477-7525-6-4. Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Keep an Open Mind 4. Growing up in home with an active alcoholic can effect how a child looks at life and almost everything in it. Together We Can Make It 10. When they tried to revive her, it threw her heart in a bad rhythm and it just stopped when they were resuscitating her. What Al-Anon tools help you to find acceptance? Acceptance was the beginning of my recovery. Step 1. - In time, you will understand - It's true, we're all different, - But, together we can make it - If you feel that you can't, - Then, once again, fake it - When you let it begin with me - The fog will raise, - the sun will shine - Your eyes will see - Slogans are there - For you to use - Say one every day - So you don't sing the blues - It works when you work it - We say and it's true - We're all here to help - But your recovery is up to you. (2022). AA Speaker Alcoholism: A Disease of Perception. An Expectation is A Resentment Waiting to Happen. On Feelings and Emotions: I found this Poem ofthe Slogans reallyhelped me to keep them active in my mind and helpful in my recovery. Let Go and Let God 15. The final time I typed it went like this: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, I cant change whoRead more . Gradually I came to understand that I was worth loving. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. In recovery were all like infants, first we crawl then we can stand. Joni 3 years ago Forgive yourself. Sometimes it takes me a long time to get from awareness to acceptance; there are things I dont want to accept, to be real. You cannot expect different results without different actions behaviors. What is going on with me? All suffering is the result of thought pointing in the wrong direction. NKW%:ica:VC9sq~?7r u9;# Step 1 is admitting you are powerless over alcohol. It does not mean inferiority, resignation or submission; these imply that we are still resisting our need for help. On the Steps: Use the tools of the program. Annual Salary Rates by Hour (2022), Are the Best Bad Credit Loans with Urban BCL? I was filled with false pride and arrogance and I was probably the most self-righteous person on the block. I have over 30 pages of cut and paste wisdom from the board. Admitting I am powerless and recognizing that each person has their own Higher Power helps me accept troubling situations. Even though my little human mind cannot figure out what the outcome will be, I am confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Which Al-Anon slogans and acronyms are your favorite? Clancy I. Learn how your comment data is processed. Still sober taking sleeping pills? Growing Up in a Alcoholic Home: Just for Today pamphlet, I read repeatedly. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation "some fact of my life" unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment., I have come to believe that hard times are not just meaningless suffering and that something good might turn up at any moment. And Think, How Important Is It These I have to leave with my Higher Power to solve (or not). This is an empowering principle because it allows us to become free and to experience life on lifes terms. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Al-Anon and Alateen are two programs that are part of a worldwide fellowship which offers support to families of alcoholics. Once I surrender, I experience a new beginning, everything just falls into place. What I noticed this morning is that, while I have a stuck feeling, I feel calm and even content with the situation when Im focused on my own spiritual growth. Personally ODAT pg 196 I was so upset it was the middle of a 3 hour meeting and I didnt know quite what to do. He's become my best friend. Him/Her. Lonely Where ever I place my attention, energy flows. Click the image to read more. She was down only fifteen minutes of it at the end, this was really hard. Accepting what I cannot change, and Letting Go and Letting God, gives me immense freedom, and liberates me from the discomfort I begin to feel when dealing with a difficult situation. Acceptance of Alcoholism This short passage about acceptance may be one of the most quoted passages in recovery literature. Taking From what I can tell, hes not ready to let go of our current home. This is what I think. Writing to the God of my own understanding gives me a way to reflect on what Ive read in CAL and heard in meetings. Let Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. John C. Umhau, MD, MPH, CPE is board-certified in addiction medicine and preventative medicine. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. What you think of me is none of my business. If I mention something that is on my mind and then let it go no matter what response I get, I am speaking sincerely. This short passage about acceptance may be one of the most quoted passages in recovery literature. I discovered acceptance from the literature One Day at a Time, Hope for Today, and Courage to Change. All Rights Reserved. It is futile to spend time trying to figure out what makes some one else tick. Detachment, Not Amputation. Thank God my sister knew who I was before she went on her final journey. Through professional counseling or therapy (either individual, group, or both), a person can learn to recognize these maladaptive emotional coping strategies and where they originated from (for example, through exploring unconscious childhood memories). I am not responsible for other peoples happiness. ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I spent years trying to change the alcoholics in my life. We may also discover new joy, passion, creativity, excitement, and a sense of wonder. Through the gift of Al-Anon I have turned my life around. How has Al-Anon helped you, as a child of an alcoholic, grow up? Delve into our collection of the Top 100 Quotes and Sayings about Acceptance Al Anon, featuring works from 90 notable authors including Self,Eckhart Tolle,Sri Sri Ravi Shankar,Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj,D. Perhaps, always will be. I know I am powerless over alcoholism and that has empowered me. When I first came into the program, the Slogans were the handrails while I learned the Steps. If I am satisfied only when the other person responds in a way I consider desirableagrees with what Ive said or takes my advicethen I know Ive lost my focus.. <> QTIP: Any time I am in resentment, I am not taking care of myself. I asked how could I make amends for my poor behaviour in our marriage so far. Once I surrender, I experience a new beginning, everything just falls into place. Take Learn how your comment data is processed. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. A.S. Roche This subtle and elusive kind of self-righteousness can underlie the smallest act or thought. Alanon's Three C's: Alcoholism: You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it! Courage to Change Page 153 ((n2w]/%{3VKBN [XgBF:Q~YfbhlO7J2EjobX. There are multiple layers and many different areas it can be applied. Going to meetings regularly has helped me find acceptance. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Music from the show The chapter was written by Dr. Paul Ohliger, who died Friday, May 19, 2000, in Mission Viejo, California at the age of 83. It keeps us on our side of the street. 2011;33(4):356-70. Al-Anon Family Groups, Courage to Change-One Day at a Time in AlAnon II: Part 1 6 likes Like "We are asked to forgive those who have injured us. We cant control it. In a few short years I lost my marriage, my beautiful Mom (my alcoholic), and several pets. Ep 1: Odomtology Definition and Meaning - Why do some people need AA and others don't? 2002. SLOGANS & other quotes/acronyms . I cant control that rollercoaster any more than I can stop or slow a real-life ride. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Intelligent, Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them. www.phonemeetings.org Thought does not change an emotion but action does. If you are whole, forgiving of the other, life and yourself (even if you are sad) your hope for another will be a prayer leaving the outcome in the care of your higher power. By looking at and accepting ourselves as we truly are, we can make decisions about who we choose to become., Halt! and to tend to these needs as soon as possible. I heard the Serenity Prayer at the beginning of the meeting, and I used it over and over until I started to get a minuscule amount of peace. It's from the 4th edition of Alcoholics Anonymousor The Big Book as it is widely known. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willingand ableto change., On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. What it does mean is you are admitting your powerlessness and limitations you are letting go, so you can then begin to recover and heal. This odd trait of mind and emotion, this perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one, permeates human affairs from top to bottom. We personally listen to, and approve of, every single speaker tape we post. . My sister is sixteen years older than me and she was like a mother to me, someone that I could always count on. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. Willingness = a readiness to change ones perception. Subst Abuse Rehabil. Listen And Learn ~, Keep An Open Mind ~ Let It Begin With Me ~ Together We Can Make It ~ Be Honest ~ Keep Coming Back ~, Feel Good About Saying "No" ~ Fake It 'Till You Make It! B. Franklin. On Expectations: An expectation is a premeditated resentment. Two steps to accept the pleasant: surprise & satisfaction.Four steps to accept the unpleasant . Denise Dianaty for you to relish and distribute. Whenever I work the Steps, I tell my Higher Power that I am willing to heal, to find a solution, to feel better. We are learning to recognize humility in others; we are attracted to them and we learn from them., I cant control the rollercoaster At a recent meeting, the speaker said that life was a rollercoaster ride, and that we should expect to have ups and downs. WITHOUT REGARD FOR THE RELATIONSHIP (RELEASE ANY EXPECTATIONS, FEEL GOOD ABOUT SAYING NO (OR SETTING BOUNDARIES), IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT SO, KCB KEEP COMING BACK, I WILL TACKLE THIS DAY & THIS DAY ALONE, LEAVING THE FUTURE WHERE IT IS, 10. Out. Discover an assortment of the most cherished and inspiring quotes related to Acceptance Al Anon. Tradition One and "Principles above Personalities" helps me accept people. A mind is a dangerous place, dont go there alone. We all wish good things to happen to us, but we cannot just pray and then sit down and expect miracles to happen. Steps 10-12 maintain it Evolve The difference between pity and compassion pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for anothers humanness. I WILL STRETCH & STRENGTHEN MY BEAUTIFUL BODY. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Al-Anon is designed to help spouses, parents, siblings, and other family members, while Alateen is geared specifically toward younger people living with an alcoholic. I never dreamed I would have to use that kind of acceptance with my sister. AlAnon does not offer counseling or advice. Never let me imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else may do (ODAT in Al-Anon pg234) After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. But, it felt like a little light found its way into the darkness in my mind.Read more , In practicing acceptance, I first acknowledge that I want things to be different. Your email address will not be published. Let us know whats wrong with this preview of, Courage to Change-One Day at a Time in AlAnon II: Part 1, Courage to ChangeOne Day at a Time in AlAnon II: Part 2, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics, Paths to Recovery: Al-Anon's Steps, Traditions and Concepts, As We Understood: A Collection of Spiritual Insights, How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups, Courage to Change-One Day at a Time in AlAnon II. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. 2019. The Big Book of AA uses the word powerless once, and the word power over 65 times. Definitions: I try to keep my boundaries high, my expectations low, and my heart open. I thought all these things made me a weak person. Quit If God loved me I was of value. Dont do it, I said to myself. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves., To this day, I am amazed at how many of my problems - most of which had nothing to do with drinking, I believed - have become manageable or have simply disappeared since I quit drinking., We have learned that the satisfaction of instincts cannot be the sole aim of our lives., one of the primary differences between alcoholics and nonalcoholics is that nonalcoholics change their behavior to meet their goals and alcoholics change their goals to meet their behaviors., Definition of an alcoholic is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex, We sometimes hurt those we love because they need to be taught a lesson, when we really want to punish.

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